


Afraid to Let Go

by thisgirlinhere



Series: I Will Always Come Back (To You) [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt, drinking? a bit? i mean, i love them, it's ronan, pynch - Freeform, these two dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 00:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18399860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlinhere/pseuds/thisgirlinhere
Summary: When Ronan comes back to an empty house after grocery shopping, he felt as if he had just lost some the most important things in his entire life. It felt a bit like being unmade again, completely alone and hopeless. He was already falling. Good thing Adam was there to pick him.--Or: the time Opal and Chansaw ran away and Adam found them walking alone in the middle of the road.





	Afraid to Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Oh I missed writing about these boys! Hope y'all enjoy it!

He had left her by herself for half an hour,  _ half a fucking hour _ . That shouldn’t have been a fucking problem, I mean, he had done it before for longer and Chainsaw was always perfectly capable of taking care of the both of them AND the farm. How was he supposed to guess that he would come home to a fucking mess and both Opal  _ and _ Chainsaw gone? And, before you say it,  _ yes, he had looked all throughout the goddamn farm, and  _ no _ , they weren’t there. _ He had spent the entire fucking night looking for the two of them without success, and now Adam was about to arrive at any second and he knew he was completely screwed.

Oh  _ Christ _ , Adam. What was he gonna think? Because of course he  _ knew _ Ronan was irresponsible, but he also knew he cared the most about his farm and his dream things - that including Opal and Chainsaw maily - and his brothers (though he would never admit that to Declan). Adam was going to be so fucking disappointed and the thought if it made Ronan even more uneased. He sat down at the breakfast table, an expensive bottle of vodka Gansey had given him in hands, he popped the lid and drank three long gulps, feeling the liquid burn down his throat while he mentally listed all the places the two idiots could have been hiding, checking off the ones he was sure he had looked twice already. He got lost after some time and didn’t notice the kitchen door being opened and the commotion that was now happening in the living room. 

Only when he heard a loud thump in the ceiling did he snapped out of his transe . He hoped it was just a lost pigeon, but he then heard what seemed to be one of his old handmade lamps being knocked out. One of the goats then, sneaky little fuckers.

He got up, bottle still in hands and head hurting from the concern and lack of sleep (when was the last time he slept well since Adam was gone? He had lost count already), and, arriving in the living room, he didn’t knew if he was angry or relieved with the sight in front if him. A sleepy Chainsaw now rested in the window, head tucked below her left wing, and a still very energetic Opal bouncing around, hooves - and the rest of her body for the record - all covered in dirt and leaves, a wicked grin in her face and, by the door, an angry Adam with two bags in hands.

\- Oh, hey - Ronan started lamely, looking at the mess around them.

\- Hey? HEY? Really?! I found these two five hours ago walking around COMPLETELY BY THEMSELVES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD RONAN, SO DON’T “HEY” ME.

Adam was heaving, his face was red and he looked not just angry, but concerned. And yes, Ronan understood his reasons because he had been feeling the same thing since he got home yesterday, so he didn’t quite know what to say, in the end, it  _ was _ his fault that Opal and Chainsaw had ran away.

\- I’m sorry.

\- YOU BETTER FUCKING BE. - he slumped down on the couch, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. - You could have lost them Ro, for good. They could’ve gotten hurt if I didn’t found them.

\- Oh and you think I don’t fucking know that? I spent the entire night searching for these two fuckers, so don’t act like I don’t care.

\- If you  _ care _ so much, how the fuck did you not see them  _ fucking leaving the house _ ?

-0-

Low blow, Adam knew that the moment the words left his mouth, but he was mad and worried and he had driven the whole night. Long story short, not his best moment.

\- I WAS AT CABESWATER! - That silenced Adam, and so they were engulfed in an uncomfortable silence. He rose from where he was sitting and watched Opal through the crack of Ronan’s old room door. 

Everyone knew Cabeswater 2.0 was ready and even more powerful than its predecessor, but Ronan had been postponing Opal’s departure since the day he came back with the news that the forest was finally stabilized and ready for the little girl. Opal knew, as well as Ronan, that her stay at the Barns was looming close to an end, she got even more prone to mischievousness and disappearing during almost the entire day, but never after the sun went down The girl would always reappear once the sky started to turn pink and the birds slowly went to their nests, that’s why, when she didn’t come back by the time Ronan returned from the supermarket, he worried something might have happened.

While Adam trailed off, Ronan threw himself in a chair near the door and sighed, hands covering his face and shoulders slightly moving. It was rare to see the dreamer cry, but Adam thought he was the one who had seen it happen the most, it was always a silent thing, tears would stain Ronan’s rosy cheeks and he would bury his face in Adam’s chest until he didn’t have any tears left, that’s when he would hastily wipe his cheeks and try to make small talk until Adam shushed him with a kiss. But now Ronan was sitting alone, away from Adam, slightly folding himself like a hurt dog, it made Adam wonder just how much time he had carried the thought of Opal going away alone while Adam was in college worried about exams and group projects.

Adam got closer, his feet felt heavy and his heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest, wanting him or not, Opal was like a daughter to him, too, and he wasn’t ready to let her leave the Barns. He crouched in front of Ronan and placed a hand in his arm, thinking for a moment before finally saying:

\- I’m sorry - he got no answer from that, but that was no surprise -, I’m sorry I screamed and that I threw the blame at you.

\- Hn.

\- Look - he sighed, resting his forehead in Ronan’s knee -, I know you love Opal, believe me, I love her too, so, so much. - he sighed - But you know she can’t be happy being limited by the end of the farm, she doesn’t deserve that.

\- I just… - he lifted his head, his long fingers lightly carding through the locks on top of Adam’s head - Opal was not planned, y’know that, and fuck, she’s a fucking menace, but she’s  _ here _ , and we have a routine with fucking taco tuesday and shit. I’m not… I’m not ready for her to leave.

\- Ro…

\- No, Parrish, I know she can’t and won’t be fully happy here, you think that doesn’t keep me up at night? It fucking does and it hurts so much to know I can’t give her what she deserves and that I’ll be alone in this fucking house again after finally getting used to the muddy hooves in my floor every damn day.

At that, he broke down again, quiet sobs leaving his mouth and tears slowly falling over Adam’s head, his entire body was shaking and Adam had to control himself so he wouldn’t start crying also. Adam rose from the floor and wrapped his arms around him, the position was not the best, but he felt Ronan’s breath hitch and his arms snake around his waist, giving it a relieved squeeze.

\- I feel like I lost her Adam, I lost our baby.

\- She’s gonna be there for you Ro, for us, she’s not going away for good, she’s going back home, where she belongs.

\- What if she forgets? What if she hates me for sending her away?

\- She won’t hate you Ronan, you’ve given her your best and I’m pretty sure she loves you.

\- She never said it though.

That earned a little laugh from Adam.

\- Well, I haven’t said it either, it doesn’t mean that I don’t.

Ronan froze against Adam’s stomach, Adam could feel his grin growing wide, which made him less worried about the other boy’s reaction. Not that he didn’t think Ronan wouldn’t feel the same, it was just that they had promised to take things slow after everything that had happened in the previous year.

\- Yeah?

\- Don’t flatter yourself asshole, it happened on accident.

\- A terrible accident then.

\- Indeed.

They laughed and Adam was glad he couldn’t see any more tear falling down. They let the silence dominate the room once more, but, this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable, they just held each other, Adam now being almost sitting on Ronan’s lap, and listened to each others breathing.

\- Hey Parrish?

\- Hm?

\- I love you too… Dumbass.

\- How can you possibly cancel your cuteness immediately after you did it?

\- It’s a gift man.

They laughed again and locked their lips in a lazy kiss, closed mouths just as it had been so many months ago. It felt like a promise, somehow, a promise that everything would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> if you'd like me to write more of these, feel free to leave me an ask at my tumblr, @cakiewrites


End file.
